Video

This is a video of Signs, Monsters, and Directions. I want to thank Jose Arrendondo of Defacto Products he did a wonderful job shooting and editing the videos. If you have time you should check out his other works just type in acousticdefacto31 into youtube and you can find them. Well enjoy!

By Lake Saint Claire

I invest in my instincts

Cause brains tend to get frozen

And hearts they just skip beats

So when walls started to close in

I listened as my instincts screamed their best idea

Run

So I wore holes in my shoes and scorched the soul

Leaving black spots all over highways

Turning scenery into flip books of my past

Finally

I could take no more memories

So I sold my life to a man who was in need of one

He gave me a pair of wings

Told me they were valuable

He paid friendship for them

Apparently the sky is a lonely place

And freedom just don’t pay in comfort anymore

But that’s fine with me

Cause comfort just isn’t what I need right now

I need perspective

So Ill let the endless expanse cleanse my soul

Hanging 1000 feet up

Cruising through cotton candy clouds and everlasting skies

Listening to the wind blow prayers up past my ears

Listening as Jesus turns to silence

Leaving me with one more piece of advice

Go chase your answers

Cause I gave you all of mine

And then he left

Leaving me hanging arms spread wide letting curls of hope carry me far away

Trying to find a place where dreams spin the other way around

Searching

Searching for a place to burry my name

I am just not the man it was meant for

I will hide it within the shores of Lake Saint Claire

Letting the current burst past

Wrapping it up in weeds

And bringing forth the lady hidden within

She collects those kind of things

You know names that don’t quiet fit

Awkward stories

Old unwanted memories

And broken hearts

She is built from the lake floor

With old skipping rocks for eyes and fishing line hair hooks dangling about shoulder length swaying along to the beat of my heart

Smiling with a broken bottle grin

She stood there letting the currents strip away her muddy skin

She leaned forward

Placing her hands on my chest

I told her please take these shards

Take this name

I am not the man it was meant for

Her hands danced as they pulled out sutures

Stitching used to sew up gaping holes

Releasing a puff of dusty words

Each one stained with desperate memories

Collecting each one as if it was a forgotten treasure

And as the last puff of smoke seeped from my body she said

I’ll keep these safe

Cause even if you feel the pain of a name

It is still what defines you

A label tying your actions and character too

Remembered when you are not there

Faces fayed
Smells float away

And flesh doesn’t always run under finger tips

Names

They give faces to mannequins

Context to memories

And smile to faces

Each syllable is a melody

Crisp notes spelling out a story

One that is never appreciated

Till it’s gone.

Faith

When I was little I fell asleep to the sound of rain drops hitting newspapers

Allowing ink to seep through sagging rafters

And fall drip by drip onto my face

This is my first taste of language

It wasn’t through resonating vocal cords

Or lead pencil stencils

But from rain cloud, a 3 day old newspaper and the cardboard walls that held them up

And I laid there looking through this weeks latest picture of war

Seeing clouds drift past scribbled on with symbols that meant nothing to me

But the steady sound of words shattering across my forehead

Staining my hair in black left over residue from dying descriptions

Listening to the skies booming voice teaching me each symbol with flashing lights

This was the first time I saw god
The second well that didn’t involve words but syllables

Moaning the letters a and o

I learned both that first day

But I couldn’t grasp their full purpose

As I laid there staring up through clouds and stars and truth

Or maybe something like it

cause every generations seems to have to re label that shit

And I can’t figure out what’s fact or fiction anymore

But it doesn’t matter cause I know what is real

And what I saw was life

Streaming out words in all languages saying things like

Tomorrow is a new day and it’s bringing the ladder

Pumping out sweet moments that build the foundation of heartache

Creating great deeds and the men they come to be associated with

This is creation

Words streaming from the inside out

Built upon a single moment

When darkness became self aware

Instantly decided it was lonely

And bang

Lights flash and the fabric begins

Flung out over a million billion years until it came back to me

A simple story written down in rain cloud

An explanation of why

Scratched down in the sky with star dust

Trying to Tell it all to a 5 year old

Wide eyes open looking up

Reading off hidden bible verses revealed only by rain

Fused to the spot even though mom says to come in

This

Is the first time I felt clean

Staring back at god

listening to words I had no hope to understand

but still I laid

Ears pointed up

goofy grin that stretched miles

and hands pinned to my sides just listening

Being taught my first language

Each and every nuance

Being stunned with each word

Repeating them softly under my breath

Too ashamed to speak

Because I still have an accent

But I don’t need to say anything anyways

Cause my native tongue is simple

It’s faith

 

Noah

Noah

I made a habit of investing in my instincts

Cause brains tend to get frozen

And hearts they just skip beats

So when walls started to close in

Turning nature into rocks clocks and building blocks

I listened as they screamed their best idea

Run

So I wore holes in my shoes and scorched the soul

Leaving black spots all over highways

Streaking past turning scenery into flip books

Rapidly turning out movies of my past

Finally

I could take no more memories

So I sold my life to a man who was in need of one

He gave me a pair of wings

And told me they were valuable

He paid friendship for them

Apparently the sky is a lonely place

And freedom just don’t pay in comfort anymore

But that’s fine with me

Cause comfort just isn’t what I need right now

I need perspective

So Ill let the endless expanse cleanse my soul

It got a little muddy in the mess
So I hang here 1000 feet up

Cruising through cotton candy clouds and everlasting skies

Trying to find a place where hope spins the other way around

Listening to the wind blow prayers up past my ears

Listening as Jesus turns to silence

Leaving me with one more piece of advice

Go chase your answers

Cause I gave you all of mine

And then he left

Leaving me hanging arms spread wide letting curls of hopes carry me far away

Keeping my eyes closed shut

Avoiding my reflection so it doesn’t remind me

That I am just not the boy I used to be

I need to find a place to burry my name

I am just not the man it was meant for

I am planning on hiding it within the shores of Lake Saint Claire

Letting the current burst past

Wrapping it up in weeds

And bringing forth the lady hidden within

She is built from the lake floor

With old skipping rocks for eyes and fishing line hair hooks dangling about shoulder length swaying along to the beat of my heart

She reached out her hand to take control

Smiling with a broken bottle grin

Silently standing letting the currents strip away her muddy skin

She leaned forward

Placing her hands on my chest

I told her please take these shards

Take this name

I am not the man it was meant for

And she reached up and pressed her hand against my face

And she whispered a new name

Letting her hands dance as they pulled out sutures

Stitching that was once used to sew up gaping holes

But I couldn’t let go yet

So I said

My name is Noah

Not like Noah’s ark

Because I didn’t pair up animals I paired up hearts

Adding two and two together and letting them drift apart

Silently watching love fall some were in between

Showering down on a girl whose life was a movie screen

Her real one was just too vivid for anyone to claim

She was the type of girl who wore sweat bands as bandages

Covering up wounds on her wrist that are now just paintings

Portraying a story were an ending was necessary

She was my teacher

My professor

My drill Sergeant

She was the one that taught me how to live life

To throw flowers up into the sky and let them stick to stars

To capture rays of light and release them in my smile

To create happiness from storm clouds

Folding them tightly

And hanging them up in my room

So that lightning becomes my strobe lights

And thunder my techno

But most importantly

She taught me to keep the world in a paper cup

Telling me to sip from it when I could

Cause life is too harsh to take in a gulp

You need to take it

In moments

In seconds

Allowing each of them to overpower

Letting secrets to seep from pours

only to be carried away by a stream of memories

-Both of us were canvases using our nails to scratch down titles

Tearing holes in our souls and letting personality stream through

Reading off our names in neon

So blinding that only we could read them

And as we parted

I told her

My name is Noah

Not like Noah’s ark

Cause I have collected my dreams

And I am captaining them away from here

I Hope that a heart is not necessary to get me were I am going

Cause I am leaving it behind

My name is noah

Not like Noah’s ark because I didn’t survive the flood

Edited Directions

New additions to Directions

I am tired of living in a world were money buys happiness

Were dreams restrain themselves

Tied up by our inability to accept them

I am tired of living in a world were my heart is sent to an asylum because people can’t understand why it still believes in love

I wanna go to a place were writers are rich

Because creativity is currency

A place were revolutions are the only resolutions

Were conquest are only contest to see who has the bigger hearts

I want to find a place were true happiness is found growing wild

Cut down and sold at farmers markets for only a buck

Were men are given their licenses to use their wings just as long as they have proof that they have the courage to chase down their dreams

A place were my fears take the back seat to my hopes

Were struggles never outgrow your capability

I bought a one way ticket a long time ago with my worries

Now I’m just waiting to be pointed in the right direction

Once there I am going to go into business flying kites

Tying my dreams to each one and letting them drop like bombs

Starting fires and igniting movement

I can’t wait to be in a place were the only time you hear the word recession is when you are talking about the sea

And the only time droughts are a problem are when we want to dance in the rain

I am taking this ticket and packing up my childhood

The only goodbye I leave is a letter saying

Finally found god

He pointed me in the direction of Eden and said “keep your knowledge

I just want some company

It gets lonely at the top

You can play ball with my boy Jesus

He always could use an extra friend

He has Buda and Muhammad but no one can pitch any new ideas

We fresh face to streak a new path home”

So I left you a trail of tears to follow

I won’t need them were I am going

The path is paved in experiences

So you need to learn how to breathe in a rhythm that keeps the beat of gospels making your life a metronome for an orchestra of pain as well as beauty

Each carrying specific attributes that make our lives sing
So try not to be afraid of the sound

At times it can be a bit overwhelming

And if you are scared find a friend

Find a lover a sister or brother to help you witness the terrible as well as the awe inspiring

Cause even thunder has lightning to make itself beautiful

One last thing

Before you come in make sure you wipe your feet and don’t forget to grab a pair of wings you’ll need them.

Catch up when you can. We’ll be waiting.

Direction

I am tired of living in a world were cash is what buys happiness

Were dreams restrain themselves

Tied up by our inability to accept them

I am tired of living in a world were my heart is locked in an asylum because everyone just can’t understand why it still believes in love

I wanna go to a place were writers are rich

Because the only currency is creativity

A place were revolutions are the only resolutions

Were conquest are only contest to see who has the bigger hearts

I want to find a place were true happiness is found growing wild

And sold at farmers markets for only a buck

Were men are given their licenses to use their wings just as long as they have proof that they have the courage to chase down their dreams

A place were my fears take the back seat to my hopes

Were struggles never outgrow your capability

I bought a one way ticket a long time ago with my worries

Now I’m just waiting to be pointed in the right direction

Once there I am going to go into business flying kites

Tying my dreams to each one and letting them drop like bombs

Starting fires and igniting movement

I can’t wait to be in a place were the only time you hear the word recession is when you are talking about the sea

And the only time droughts are a problem are when we want to dance in the rain

I am taking this ticket and packing up my childhood

The only goodbye I leave is a letter saying

Finally found god

He pointed me in the direction of Eden and said “keep your knowledge

I just want some company

It gets lonely at the top

You can play ball with my boy Jesus

He always needs another friend

He has Buda and Muhammad but they just can’t seem to pitch any new ideas

We all need someone fresh to streak a new path home”

So I left you a trail of tears to follow

I won’t have any use for them were I am going

The path is easy to see its stained with experience

On your way make sure you breath in a rhythm that keeps the beat of gospels making your life a metronome keeping time for an orchestra of pain as well as beauty

Each carrying specific attributes that make our lives sing
So try not to be afraid of the sound

At times it’s a bit overwhelming

One last thing

Before you come in make sure you wipe your feet and don’t forget to grab a pair of wings you’ll need them.

Catch up when you can. We’ll be waiting.

Never

While I am able to elaborate and enumerate

My words seem stolen from pages forgotten

Lost in time with the rest of humanities great works that well never got read

Left in a lost and never-found box constructed by people who never did quite build it

You see it seems that the never-looked-fors keep getting out and reproducing

The lost time we always wish back or the forgotten stories that never really were that interesting

And the never-shoulda’s keep causing people headaches

Cause we over looked the never-coulda’s

And hey look I have found those questions that never-were-answered

The questions like how many heartbeats can that broken heart pump out?

Or how about Who shoots the shooting stars?

They never met up with the answers they so desired because those questions were never asked

I just found my folder in a section called never-wanted’s

It is full of other people to but I just didn’t really care

Maybe the reason I got thrown into the lost and never found

Was cause well I never really gave a fuck

It is a shame you don’t listen carefully enough to tell when the mood changed

Cause well it just did

And now we just lost time cause you got confused with all these changes

I ended up finding you hanging out with the never-will-be’s

And lets be honest dreamers don’t do anything for anyone except burn the soul

They got caught staring at the bubbles that hold dreams

Showing the people we hope to be in mirrors set on bent frames

It is easy to get stuck as a dreamer

And we all know dreamers stay dreamers

well until they aren’t ones

And they join the rest of us attempting to force their dreams to burst into existence

And really the there should be a warning on those damn things

Cause that grass that looked so green is actually painted

And the dream I really wanted

It hangs over there sparkling in between now and forever

But wait a second were is the train that brought us here

What was it called train 5 or 9

No it was this train called thought and it left the station again

But that’s ok cause I want to stay here and learn from the never-shoulda’s

And find all the never looked for’s

So I can have a little more time to ask more questions that never were answered

Like What questions does god ask when he knows all the answers?

Or If the light coming from the sun is sunshine is it still called son shine when it radiates off me

And with the time left I will learn how to dream big with all the never-will-be’s

They after all know how to do things never-done-before

And when I step back to reality I will listen to that one whispered statement

That dares us all

The echo that says never be forgotten

Souls

I got blindsided the other day

No correction I got bulldozed cause I still haven’t quiet recovered yet

I was told my friend died from cancer and that the route cause

Was me

You see as I fumble with my decisions I decay and tend to irradiate the things around me

And instead of deciding to leave

He decided to stay and he rotted from the inside out

For all of his loyalty all he received was death

All he wanted in life was to keep his own thoughts and write his own dreams down on the souls of his shoes so when he walked they would get stamped on side walks

He desperately just wanted to be known

To be quoted

They told me sorry because they buried him before I could say good bye

But I don’t believe them when they say he is six feet down cause he still walks next to me

And sometimes I have to blink a couple times to make sure he is still there

Because he tends to walks to quietly for me to hear

But lately he keeps stomping out those quotes and notes

And at times I hear his feet as they slip and skid

He does that so that the words blurr hoping I will trip on them

He is here to inspire me to write my story down on the souls of my shoes

But I am here to survive

I wrote my story on the walls of my heart hoping that it would protect me

But it didn’t cause he seeped in somehow

And he spilt my stories and they stuck

They stuck to the walls and windows

To the floors and skies

And now I am left open again

And he can’t help but laugh because the thoughts he wrote down on his souls was the same that was written on mine

He is my childhood

He is the innocent boy who believes he can be anything

And he refuses to choose for fear of killing off his options

And when told to make a decision he just tells people he can’t

He is a pacifist

He is the dreamer

And he still sticks to me

If you don’t believe me he standing right here

He just won’t leave me alone anymore

He causes me to weigh my options way to long

And even when I choose

 I just can’t cut loose because I still cherish the chance with doubt

And I still keep reading the skies

Hoping to collect my stories again

But my tongue keeps on slipping out more secrets

I just have to close that window you see

I found door but there seems to be just to many windows

And my friend just keeps creeping in

And writing more things down on the souls of his shoes

He just doesn’t understand that crossing paths again

Means he causes me to decay a little more

And I irradiate everyone surrounding me

But he doesn’t see it that way

He watches me explode

And smiles as he sees me spit flames again

Our favorite stories were the ones in which there were dragons

And he always knew that we could be one

That flying was only glorious if you could be seen

But people kept telling him that it wasn’t possible

And I kept the thought locked in with doubt

But he knew what he wanted

He just wanted to be a dragon

The one that breathe words

And makes the earth quake as they stomp out their thoughts

So he keeps next to me hoping to have a heart beat again

And I stand up here hoping to revive him

You can read my mind just looks around

But I have to ask you

Please please don’t take my shoes

They are the only things that I want to write with anymore

They are worn and torn

But they are valuable cause I have my stories

Written all over my souls

30 lives

You go to talk but your mouth is to dry but there isn’t any water left because all the wells in Africa are empty

And instead of sending water we keep sending them soccer balls but they just give the fedex man confused looks cause it is so much better to kick around their fathers

It gives the game a little more worth when there is a life on the line

Just like the diamond that you are so impressed with

It is fourteen karats but the truth is that the worth is 30 lives

It shines red with the blood spilt on it

But you can only see that it represents your love

And the day drags on your fiancé goes to work and fucks his secretary

But it’s ok cause your ring is worth thirty lives

I mean its 14 karats

I mean he still loves you it was just a mistake

I guess I got confused cause I believed that love was

A girl that held your heart cupped in her hand

And your trust tied to her belt loop

But maybe I am wrong and you shouldn’t worry cause your fiancé is just a tool

You are so much better than that flight attendant you caught him with

And like they say there are plenty of other fish in the sea

But I don’t want a fish unless is fried broiled or boiled

And I just don’t understand keeping one as a pet cause my fish kept stealing my dreams

And they would jump from the tank believing that there was just another ocean out there

I guess I just am confused again

Cause I thought we were talking about love

When did animals come into it

Unless your talking about that raw passion

If so I have to ruin your hopes cause that attraction is just caused by the divining rod in between our legs

And if you want something worth more you have to work hard for it

You have to be attracted by the mind and soul

Rather than that shiny necklace he bought you last week

Or that salmon diner he paid for

Cause true love is found by shoveling down soggy mac and cheese

And strong soup because he forgot to add the water again

But the best things have to come un diluted

They are the things that come on too strong that you can’t quiet understand the first time or second or third and it keeps you coming back

It leaves you breathless taking away the very air from your lips

Igniting an addiction with just a kiss

Allowing you merely a taste of understanding rather than just allowing you to understand

Wake up in twenty years and tell me if that ring was worth it

Please tell me who is the bigger whore your husbands latest mistress or you

Because I honestly don’t know

But its ok cause that ring your wearing is worth thirty lives

I mean sorry again I got distracted

I was looking at the girl that still has my heart cupped in her hands

And my trust tied to her belt loop

Stop

Don’t say anything cause I can’t understand you

Because I just can’t value any rings or string or kings

Or any of those ings cause I value love

Monsters

I only speak what is on my mind

It is the truth

Or maybe you can’t trust that cause sometimes things get confused so maybe what I meant to say is I only speak lies

These lies resonate from my mind and connect with the ho hums that sing from my heart

But I guess that is still a lie because only the truth chooses to take the wrong turn at Albuquerque

And only the truth seems to make the world feel good and the sky pour out dreams.

I say what is on my mind because my plate is empty

But excuse me cause I am speaking with my mouth full again

I had something important to explain that just couldn’t wait

A second I forgot again cause the waitress just walked by and she is kinda cute

And she doesn’t want to hear that I am scared of the dark just cause I believe in monsters I believe in monsters because it keeps me young

It keeps me honest shy and bashful.

And you know what I had an imaginary friend but he seems to have out grown me a long time ago

He got bored of playing with my imagination as if it was play doe

And he no longer wanted to paint sloppy grins across faces using pitchers of kool aide

But I miss that cause my friend died in the fall and I still haven’t 
got rid of the songs that sung him to sleep

He is still next to me as I drive home alone and he is proud of my 
silence and my wisdom but all I want is my imagination again

I want to believe that the covers will still save me just as long as I can get them over my head,

And I am happy when people tell me they are haunted by ghost

Cause it means that they believe in something more than what they are told

And again I go to speak my mind

But I have to wait because it has to decipher the ho hums that sing from my heart

And then after I say those words

I have to be told to stop lying

To stop lying under the covers to stop saying what is on my mind

Because I am bringing out the child again and he is scared,

I have to admit that I am still that little boy that runs past the closet on my way to the bathroom at night to escape the monsters

Hopefully you smile because you believe too that the creaks

Are strange creatures

And you sing little nursery rhymes as you avoid the cracks in the side walk

And at night I hope you still go were the wild things are

In order to get there though you have to spin lies instead of truth

Combining the thoughts in your mind with the ho hum of the heart

Saying the things that feel right rather than the things that are right

As for me I will keep telling lies

The ones that rains hope rather than dreams

Taking the right turn at Albuquerque that leads you to a place of action

And you may not understand why I keep fighting the world

That only wants dreams

But I have to do this

Cause it is the only thing that keeps the song from singing me to sleep

Poems

Hey I am Patrick Hogan, I created this website to post some of my Poems and just miscellaneous clips of writing that I have. So lets just jump right into this the first couple posted are going to be older poems poems and I'll go ahead and make separate post for each one.