Faith

When I was little I fell asleep to the sound of rain drops hitting newspapers

Allowing ink to seep through sagging rafters

And fall drip by drip onto my face

This is my first taste of language

It wasn’t through resonating vocal cords

Or lead pencil stencils

But from rain cloud, a 3 day old newspaper and the cardboard walls that held them up

And I laid there looking through this weeks latest picture of war

Seeing clouds drift past scribbled on with symbols that meant nothing to me

But the steady sound of words shattering across my forehead

Staining my hair in black left over residue from dying descriptions

Listening to the skies booming voice teaching me each symbol with flashing lights

This was the first time I saw god
The second well that didn’t involve words but syllables

Moaning the letters a and o

I learned both that first day

But I couldn’t grasp their full purpose

As I laid there staring up through clouds and stars and truth

Or maybe something like it

cause every generations seems to have to re label that shit

And I can’t figure out what’s fact or fiction anymore

But it doesn’t matter cause I know what is real

And what I saw was life

Streaming out words in all languages saying things like

Tomorrow is a new day and it’s bringing the ladder

Pumping out sweet moments that build the foundation of heartache

Creating great deeds and the men they come to be associated with

This is creation

Words streaming from the inside out

Built upon a single moment

When darkness became self aware

Instantly decided it was lonely

And bang

Lights flash and the fabric begins

Flung out over a million billion years until it came back to me

A simple story written down in rain cloud

An explanation of why

Scratched down in the sky with star dust

Trying to Tell it all to a 5 year old

Wide eyes open looking up

Reading off hidden bible verses revealed only by rain

Fused to the spot even though mom says to come in

This

Is the first time I felt clean

Staring back at god

listening to words I had no hope to understand

but still I laid

Ears pointed up

goofy grin that stretched miles

and hands pinned to my sides just listening

Being taught my first language

Each and every nuance

Being stunned with each word

Repeating them softly under my breath

Too ashamed to speak

Because I still have an accent

But I don’t need to say anything anyways

Cause my native tongue is simple

It’s faith

 

Noah

Noah

I made a habit of investing in my instincts

Cause brains tend to get frozen

And hearts they just skip beats

So when walls started to close in

Turning nature into rocks clocks and building blocks

I listened as they screamed their best idea

Run

So I wore holes in my shoes and scorched the soul

Leaving black spots all over highways

Streaking past turning scenery into flip books

Rapidly turning out movies of my past

Finally

I could take no more memories

So I sold my life to a man who was in need of one

He gave me a pair of wings

And told me they were valuable

He paid friendship for them

Apparently the sky is a lonely place

And freedom just don’t pay in comfort anymore

But that’s fine with me

Cause comfort just isn’t what I need right now

I need perspective

So Ill let the endless expanse cleanse my soul

It got a little muddy in the mess
So I hang here 1000 feet up

Cruising through cotton candy clouds and everlasting skies

Trying to find a place where hope spins the other way around

Listening to the wind blow prayers up past my ears

Listening as Jesus turns to silence

Leaving me with one more piece of advice

Go chase your answers

Cause I gave you all of mine

And then he left

Leaving me hanging arms spread wide letting curls of hopes carry me far away

Keeping my eyes closed shut

Avoiding my reflection so it doesn’t remind me

That I am just not the boy I used to be

I need to find a place to burry my name

I am just not the man it was meant for

I am planning on hiding it within the shores of Lake Saint Claire

Letting the current burst past

Wrapping it up in weeds

And bringing forth the lady hidden within

She is built from the lake floor

With old skipping rocks for eyes and fishing line hair hooks dangling about shoulder length swaying along to the beat of my heart

She reached out her hand to take control

Smiling with a broken bottle grin

Silently standing letting the currents strip away her muddy skin

She leaned forward

Placing her hands on my chest

I told her please take these shards

Take this name

I am not the man it was meant for

And she reached up and pressed her hand against my face

And she whispered a new name

Letting her hands dance as they pulled out sutures

Stitching that was once used to sew up gaping holes

But I couldn’t let go yet

So I said

My name is Noah

Not like Noah’s ark

Because I didn’t pair up animals I paired up hearts

Adding two and two together and letting them drift apart

Silently watching love fall some were in between

Showering down on a girl whose life was a movie screen

Her real one was just too vivid for anyone to claim

She was the type of girl who wore sweat bands as bandages

Covering up wounds on her wrist that are now just paintings

Portraying a story were an ending was necessary

She was my teacher

My professor

My drill Sergeant

She was the one that taught me how to live life

To throw flowers up into the sky and let them stick to stars

To capture rays of light and release them in my smile

To create happiness from storm clouds

Folding them tightly

And hanging them up in my room

So that lightning becomes my strobe lights

And thunder my techno

But most importantly

She taught me to keep the world in a paper cup

Telling me to sip from it when I could

Cause life is too harsh to take in a gulp

You need to take it

In moments

In seconds

Allowing each of them to overpower

Letting secrets to seep from pours

only to be carried away by a stream of memories

-Both of us were canvases using our nails to scratch down titles

Tearing holes in our souls and letting personality stream through

Reading off our names in neon

So blinding that only we could read them

And as we parted

I told her

My name is Noah

Not like Noah’s ark

Cause I have collected my dreams

And I am captaining them away from here

I Hope that a heart is not necessary to get me were I am going

Cause I am leaving it behind

My name is noah

Not like Noah’s ark because I didn’t survive the flood

Edited Directions

New additions to Directions

I am tired of living in a world were money buys happiness

Were dreams restrain themselves

Tied up by our inability to accept them

I am tired of living in a world were my heart is sent to an asylum because people can’t understand why it still believes in love

I wanna go to a place were writers are rich

Because creativity is currency

A place were revolutions are the only resolutions

Were conquest are only contest to see who has the bigger hearts

I want to find a place were true happiness is found growing wild

Cut down and sold at farmers markets for only a buck

Were men are given their licenses to use their wings just as long as they have proof that they have the courage to chase down their dreams

A place were my fears take the back seat to my hopes

Were struggles never outgrow your capability

I bought a one way ticket a long time ago with my worries

Now I’m just waiting to be pointed in the right direction

Once there I am going to go into business flying kites

Tying my dreams to each one and letting them drop like bombs

Starting fires and igniting movement

I can’t wait to be in a place were the only time you hear the word recession is when you are talking about the sea

And the only time droughts are a problem are when we want to dance in the rain

I am taking this ticket and packing up my childhood

The only goodbye I leave is a letter saying

Finally found god

He pointed me in the direction of Eden and said “keep your knowledge

I just want some company

It gets lonely at the top

You can play ball with my boy Jesus

He always could use an extra friend

He has Buda and Muhammad but no one can pitch any new ideas

We fresh face to streak a new path home”

So I left you a trail of tears to follow

I won’t need them were I am going

The path is paved in experiences

So you need to learn how to breathe in a rhythm that keeps the beat of gospels making your life a metronome for an orchestra of pain as well as beauty

Each carrying specific attributes that make our lives sing
So try not to be afraid of the sound

At times it can be a bit overwhelming

And if you are scared find a friend

Find a lover a sister or brother to help you witness the terrible as well as the awe inspiring

Cause even thunder has lightning to make itself beautiful

One last thing

Before you come in make sure you wipe your feet and don’t forget to grab a pair of wings you’ll need them.

Catch up when you can. We’ll be waiting.